Put Love First

 

Are you in a long-term relationship, and bored? Has the flame dwindled away? Are you expecting to feel love before giving love? Are you waiting to feel attraction and arousal before you love? Well, if you’re waiting for the feeling of love then you have it all backwards. The good news is that love is a behavior and skill that can be learned.

 

Love is a skill that you can get good at if you do it often. You don’t learn to love by reading about it. You must practice it. It’s our nature to put ourselves first; however, you cannot claim to be a loving person if you only do it selectively. You must practice loving each other to get better at it. The good news is that love is an action, as well as a habit. It’s not a feeling, as most humans believe it to be.

 

Feelings are associated with lust and desire, which can turn to love but isn’t love. The old saying may be true: "If you marry on the strength of puppy love, you'll end up leading a dog's life.” Love even when you don’t feel like it, and the feelings of love will follow! I do, and I’ve been happily involved with Ambrosia for quite a long time now. Funny, the old gal likes to wear my sunglasses, but I think red looks just as good on me, do you agree? Remember your character is the sum of all your actions, so put love first.

 

With Lovingkindness,

 

 

Turning Goals Inside Out

Where do goals come from? Our goals and our ideas of success come from our parents, media, and society at large, but our true purpose should be an internal matter, not an external one. Most people are influenced by the media and look to secure a job that offers money, title, and prestige, which does not guarantee happiness.

 

The road to happiness is a lot easier when we work on internal goals. The best way to find happiness is to find internal goals such as confidence and self-esteem. The good news is internal goals can be achieved at any age. An external goal such as playing for the NFL is not an achievable goal at eighty.

 

So why do we stress over external goals? It’s true that basic material resources are needed, but beyond that, it makes no difference. Everybody wants to be happy, right? Seek an internal goal that will guarantee happiness. To be internally focused is to be spiritually secure and no one can take that away from you. Does upside down count? No, I suppose not.

 

With lovingkindness,
 

 

To Be Successful Do What You Don’t Feel Like Doing

Just because you don’t feel like doing something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people are good habits and commitment. For example, you don’t make it to the Wimbledon, tennis championships by being lazy. You get to Wimbledon by hours and hours of hard practice that you didn’t feel like doing.

What causes an athlete to train? It’s faith. Faith is believing you can achieve, or being compliant when you don’t understand. “I’ll believe it when I see it” is a common statement, but with faith it’s about believing before seeing. Successful people do what they don’t feel like doing, and unsuccessful people do what they feel.

 

Likewise, successful people have faith and unsuccessful people don’t. The message is simple - Do what you don’t feel like doing, and believe it before seeing it! So, is tennis training necessary today? You know the drill; do what you don’t feel like doing!

 

With lovingkindness,

 

 

Scarless Living

For every decision, there are consequences, and every bad decision leaves a scar on your life. Forgiveness does not free you from the consequences or even the pain that comes from making bad decisions. You can be forgiven and still have regrets and even pain.

 

When you violate your integrity, you may fool other people but you cannot fool yourself. The truth of the matter is if you violate your conscience there will be a price to pay. Sometimes you know that you are about to make a wrong decision or do a bad thing, but you must stop and think. Think about the toll this has on your spirit.

 

Remember there are consequences to every decision you make, so be sure to walk securely with integrity. Better yet, you can take me for a walk. I am man’s best friend, after all.

 

With lovingkindness,